Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A son-in-law’s Eulogy to a departed mother-in-law

Erlinda Tapec Vicente
Born: 01 January 1940
Died: 02 September 2009

It is inevitable that anytime like today, this letter shall be read in a different manner of celebration to your absolute freedom from physical anguish and pain. But in all honesty Mama, I can never imagine that I would be writing you one. In fact, I can not even recall a single occasion - when I have been your son-in-law for the last 15 long years, and I have never written you anything that would carry my thoughts. And the more it is painful that now I have to write you one, but you would never hear and feel my message anymore.

We never had good memories that could be a theatric material, but nonetheless, and in behalf of your other sons and daughters in law, we are grateful for taking us as one of yours. We felt the belongingness with your selflessness, and we felt that you were so true and natural in every small laughters that we shared. The sincerity you have shown us was just amazingly insurmountable, and there is never a fitting word that we can respond except… “Thank you..!”.

When you were in the US with Ariel, Janet and Jacob, I would call you just for nothing. Do you still remember those times, Mama? I would greet you with; “Mama, nangipananyo tay aklo?” or, “Mama, ‘tay kalub ti patis, nakitayo?” And we would laugh, and those times were so fun-filled. And I would call you very often; same message, same laughters, but the notch of our inner joy would just get higher each time. Who would know that you were sick?

Diagnosed on the recurrence of your ailment, you caught us off-guard. But you never showed any sign of retreat. You would always act as everything was fine. You opted to own the battle.

The last time you came from the US, you would cook your special siopao for us, and I would bring and sell the remainder to our office canteen. Not for the purpose to generate money, but only just to keep yourself busy, and your mind to be swayed away from your condition, that even for a moment, you could just live normally. Those days must have given you reprieve, but as everyone know, father time is finite, and will always take its toll.

And now you are gone, and that should mean no more special siopao for us. But topping it all, you seem to be taking away with your demise the last bond to your family, and now you are going back to where every one of us shall belong.

With tears overflowing, sadness is what you leave us. But don’t you worry Mama, we shall hang on, and we shall be good again. Because just by accepting that you are now free from the hurting, we can only be happy to let you go. Certainly not in joy, but relieved that your suffering has eventually surrendered on you. Inabakyo ti pannusa ni saem, ket saan na kayon to pulos a madangranen iti kaano man. Your departure is indeed a victory. You are now free from all of your burdens, and you have just defeated life to this very essence.

Sakbay iti amin, maikadua kenni inak a ni Carolina Segundo iti Claveria, nangnangruna ka kadagiti babbai nga innak pagyamanan. Gapu ta agsipud kenka, inted mo kaniak ni Jackie, nga isu met ti naggapuan dagiti nalilibnos nga appokom nga isu ita iti mangmangted kadakami iti kired ken inspirasyon nga makidangadang kadagiti pannubok ni biag. Ket ammok nga dagiti ka-kayong ken i-ipag ko, kasta met ti makuna da kenka. Maysa ka nga nadayaw ken managparabur nga ina. And being all that said, we sincerely thank you, Mama.

Hope is a great word, but actually just a state of mind and has no meaning – simply because it has no guarantees. [ Ti namnama ket maysa a nabileg a sarita, ngem iti kina-agpaysuanan na, daytoy ket maysa laeng nga kapanunutan – ngamin ta saan nga isu ti makaited iti kasiguruan ]. Nonetheless, we hope against all hopes that the greatness of the life you shared us will strengthen our hearts, and keep us, your siblings, to be even closer together, and supportive to each other. That how humble we may have been through the years when you were with us, you have enriched our lives with the kind of loving and caring that you mended us – ket dagiti naipaay yo nga ayat ken dungngo kadakami, isudanto koma ngarud ti mang-inspirar kadakami iti pangituloy mi manen nga agbiag a napnuan iti pammati.

Inkayo ngaruden, Mama, ket ammo mi nga nasalun-at kayo itan. Awanen daydi sakit yo nga inkayo inib-ibturan iti nabayag, ket ammo mi a napigsa kayo manen. Ikuyog yo ngarud ti nasam-it nga isem yo a sumango ken Apo a Namarsua, ket sapay ta naragsak kayo itan ta iti kaudianan na, agkita kayo manen ken ni Daddy. Dios ngarud ti kumuyog, as we send you all of our loving thoughts. Walk away with ease, and enjoy to the fullest your freedom that you truly deserve.

God bless Mama, so long… and goodbye…

See you next life…