Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Tale Of An Unfounded Best Seller

I have started to write this piece a long time ago, but I didn’t know why I just lost interest finishing it. Or maybe because I didn’t know how to cap it, not until I received a call from a friend just today for some hi’s and hello’s and other stuffs (which I will disclose at the last part). And so this is his story.

I have a friend, an overseas Filipino worker like me, and I think he is in trouble. As a matter of fact, he seems to be having an inevitable breakdown.

Well, I became a certified overseas worker since October of 2008. We met at the Hong Kong airport at the immigration line. It appeared that we boarded the same plane as his boarding ticket’s flight details were same as mine. He was China bound too. But to which particular place, I didn’t bother to ask anymore. We rode the same bus to Sheng Shui for the KCR to Lo Wu. From there on of the same day, we parted.

After about eight months on separate ways, I met him again on one of my exits to Hong Kong. He said he was going to Central to remit his salary for his family. So was I for the same reason. And being “old friends”, it was a great moment to have met once again. That time, we found ourselves so comfortable already, as if we have known each other since we were kids, and we took things from there. For the first time, we exchanged numbers. So after each of our transactions was done, we called each other, and had lunch together.

Having too much stories to share regarding our respective jobs, after lunch, we found ourselves sitting together in a bar where most Filipinos would frequent. We ordered beer. At any rate, it is the most common denominator for men to interact. We are both engineers, almost same scope of job. Laughters on our new-fangled experiences, exchanging thoughts on our endeavors.

He said he had a good job back home, but because he felt he isn’t doing well with respect to offering more for his family, he took the challenge for a greater opportunity, thus. He said his deity was his late father, and he is just trying to emulate how his old pushed himself to provide a better future for them siblings then. He confided that his dad also went offshore for a greener pasture, and that’s how them three kiddos finished college.

I wasn’t paying so much attention to each detail he would say, because in reality, we have pretty much the same humble beginnings. All I can sense though is his imminent passion and desire to uplift his family. I see him to be responsible and well meaning. Just one who could be regarded a hero.

After all those “introductions”, suddenly, he became a little serious. Maybe it was the beer, but I can read between the lines, there must be some pent-up emotions he had always wanted to let go. At first he had a hard time opening up, but as he started, I can see the indiscernible grain of tears trying to come out of his eyes. The sadness was too much not to notice. I held myself back.

So he went to share his predicament. His family would not provide him the attention he thinks he deserves. He feels that they must have been overwhelmed by the ‘blessings’ he is providing that they seem can not make time for him anymore – when all he does is nothing else but think about them. Not much of phone calls, or text messages, or e-mails. That they would only call him when there is a domestic concern. He thinks it was a mistake that he decided to work abroad, and that he must have unsuspectingly isolated himself. There is so much guilt within, and he blames himself so bad. That had he not chosen to dream big, he should not be in such quandary.

But he justified his decision by admitting that he would not be worthy as a father if he limits his capability in shaping his family’s stature, much to his children’s future. He would always say that it was the right thing to do.

As he go on, he would shake his head to say that he can only hear their voices when it is him who would call, that he would beg for them to call him sometimes, send him text messages, or e-mail him, share some news about anything, just so that he would feel he is being thought about, and to guarantee his feelings that he is being missed too, the same way he misses his family. And yes, they would do as he tells them – but just for a quite sometime, and then it is the same dilemma all over again.

I wanted to stop him right there because I can feel he is going down. I can hear the masked sobs in between, and so I would lift my glass and bang to his, and we would gulp. Not for the drink, but for him to breath. It is quite heartbreaking to see a willful man having a thought of digging his own hole. It’s a little bizarre for me.

In my heart, I can only sympathize with him. Being in the same boat except for his impasse, I perfectly understand that being away from family generates random thoughts and emotions. Too bad he has to deal with such a thing, and it makes it worse that he has no one to share, and so maybe it was also good that we bumped into each other that day. He should be lucky that I had the time and sympathy to listen, though I was just so sad to hear such a story.

At the back of my mind, I can only appreciate the fact that I do not experience his misery. I can not even catch up with the flooding of the daily (yes, daily, and I am not exaggerating) text messages and e-mails from my wife and kids. In contrast, it is them who would complain that maybe I don’t read their e-mails that is why they do not get a reply to each of their messages, of which I would apologize – not because I don’t read them, but because I simply get engaged with my job, and they would understand, well, a bit. They would call me each weekend to share their Sunday funs - that they went to church and prayed for my health and safety. The kids would tell me how they are doing in school, and I would feel proud of their little achievements. And the proximity is resignedly quenched with the attachment. I am just squarely left of nothing more to nitpick about.

I know I’m not a lucky guy, but with the vast love and care that my family is showering me, I can never imagine being in his shoes, not for one second. Hearing his story, there is just nothing for me to complain.

I had to cheer him up and assure that the rain doesn’t pour in all seasons. And he would shrug his shoulders and smile in jest. I think he had long needed that kind of release, and I must have been of help to a certain extent. We had some more beers and other not-so-glowing stories until we decided it is time to go our own ways as we are separately booked for the overnight before going back to China the next morning.

That night, it was never easy for me to sleep. Some wild thoughts were running in my brain. But there was nothing solid that I can grasp. My feelings were hollow.

After that meeting, I never heard from him like forever again, not until this morning. He called to ask me if he is about to make the right decision. He said he met a married-but-separated Filipina in Hong Kong on his next exit after our drink, and they have communicated well ever since. He confessed that they would spend the night together each time he is in Hong Kong, and that she is providing him the caring and attention he had always been longing from his family. They seem to compliment each other, and now she became his inspiration.

He asked me if it is right that he just send money and would not go spend Christmas with his family back home, and instead 'celebrate' the yuletide with his “new-found friend”. I paused for a few seconds because I must respond very carefully. And so I told him; “Bro, it is not what I tell you, but what you think is right”. And he said; “Thanks bro, I needed that. I may have the same thoughts as you would say afterall, because I think it is just right and fair for me to be happy too”.

I was dumbfounded. I really didn’t know what to say any further. God knows he read my answer wrong, but I know he already made his mind even before he called me. If only I could rescind his track. But I’m settled of how he thought I reacted to his query, because if things are still the same way when he told me his tale, I can only be sure that his wife and kids would not miss him so much anyway. What only became clear to me is one of the many reasons how a family could go down the drain. That when we do not take care of our loved ones, someone else shall take care of them. So in closing, I just wished him a Merry Christmas.

The conversation we just had still runs in my head. Damn, I can’t wait to fly back home six days from now, and spend Christmas with my loving family once again.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Purposely Accidental

Love. It is life’s optimum and ultimate purpose. And certainly, it is purely accidental. For one thing specific, it comes in all forms of surprises.

The one whom you think you’d grow old with would appear not to be – and in fact you’d only last for 2 months (how you wish it could have been just 2 weeks, or 2 days), 5 dinner dates (all your treat), and 3 movies (all your treat too, even with the drinks and popcorns), not to mention how you brave all those heavy traffics and heavy rains in fetching and sending him/her back home – of which he/she resides way opposite and off your place. While the one who was always by your sight that you would never see, is in fact the one you’d spend your whole life with. Indeed, purposely accidental.

First love never dies? Wrong. My Mom’s first love was my Dad, and he is dead. End of discussion.

How many of us must have been in long engagements, only to end up to someone else’s arms? Or how many of us must have been drifters for the longest time, until the one we would have unexpected most is now the same person we wake up with in each morning – whom we’d say the sweetest words we could have never imagined?

Unconditional things about love are just a few. There are no standards – go with your preference. There are no limits – it is self regulatory. There are no boundaries – your morals shall dictate on you. And there are no rules – to each’ his own.

One tricky thing about love though is the hurting and pain. Some of us would welcome it as an ‘ingredient’ to spice up the ‘starter’. While others just have no taste bud for ‘ingredients’, wouldn’t care for ‘starters’, and would only settle for the ‘main course’. It all depends on us what we want from love.

Love don’t come easy, this I would unquestionably believe. Everyone is bound to go through the test of times, even when no one press on us. No one tells us the inevitability of standing by. Only we would know what we want, and oftentimes we would not even ask ourselves why. Heck, who would even care anyway!

Some don’t have the strength to fight for love, and wouldn’t spend another minute for ‘uncertainty’, and while they can’t live alone, so that they would rather jump into another relationship even without any grip of guarantee on finding the supposed ‘missing link’. It could be a continuous process, because no matter what, love just goes around, and comes around – in circles.

Indeed, the core of love is within. We seldom care of the people around us. The rationale is not being inconsiderate – but just not being selfish to our own self. There could be an apparent misguidance from a distance, but it’s just ourselves and ourselves alone who would know what are best for us.

But in the contrary, we don’t judge ourselves in everything we do. That’s the job of the people around us. We can only choose and insist on things we partake, but just like when we point fingers onto others, reality remains that more fingers are pointed back on us.

So that we shall never see the beauty of what love brings until we mull over that no man is an island. This thought shall turn all the differences that we are supposed to deal with, if not a must. Love is never solitaire. At minimum, it takes two to tango.

Love gravitates love, and is always mysterious. And its luster shall always depend on how we interlace with its prospectus. We may not be wise while in love, but no one shall ever negate our sanity from us – unless we lose it on purpose. And when that becomes the case, then we become incapable of exercising the whole syllabus. Otherwise, we just have to hold on onto the pieces and pick up from there. We have to develop a feeling that something beautiful must come out.

At the end of the day, we just have to fill up our senses, and be on the happier side while enjoying all the pleasures of love’s journey. With love, we have to admit that no matter what we do – we affect people’s lives, whether accidentally on purpose, or purposely accidental.  We can only be selfish at times, but should never be self-centered at all times. Or you end up always searching for the kind of love that never was.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Honor. Courage. Commitment.

In sports, there is a team that chants “One Big Fight!”. And they shout it at the top of their lungs with utmost pride.

In fights, we would come across with a striking theme that goes, “No Guts, No Glory!”. And the passion is just too strong for a drive.

In academics, there is always the wisdom of “Poverty is not a hindrance to success”. And the motivation is tops.

And in life, “Walk With Faith!”.

But in general, life is but the biggest battle everyone must hurdle. And there is only one ideal course to go through – the trail to survival. We need a lot of courage to walk through life, because day to day is an uphill climb. We can have some breaks in between, but when times get rough, going back is never a possibility. There is only one direction – to move forward.

Inevitably, surrender means defeat, which can also be decimated as suicidal. While some people choose to play dumb, others would feel so small when around with perceived to be bright people. Distraction is either self-inflicted, or willingly achieved. Paranoia will take the driver’s seat, and focus will run sideways. Then you would see these individuals blaming everything and everyone under the sun, or even beyond – except themselves. That’s just awesome.

It takes a lot of courage to succeed, no matter what barometer is exploited as reference or gauge. Different people have different dreams. Some goes for just a notch better than what they presently have, while some guns for big time. It all depends on one’s satisfaction, or when people would seem to be contented. While it is also true that satisfaction or contentment is only an option, and that the so-called destiny is what we make. It is also true that everyone has their own definition of fulfillment.

Everyone can go on dreaming and aiming and reaching and accomplishing their goals, notwithstanding of whatever they want. But it is in the execution towards the objective that differentiates people. Some would choose to chop anything that goes against their ways, while some prefer to consider honor.

Honor. I was taught that it is just but three simple things.
1.    Not to hurt your parents with your actions.
2.    Not to disgrace your family name in humiliation.
3.    Not to put yourself in danger in any measure or form.

Quite easy and straightforward as it may appear, but guess everyone must have violated them a couple of dozen times already. But when we look at the place where we are at and with our own families right now, we should be able to say with head held high that – there is no way we have gravely violated the above definition of honor. There can be delinquencies as surely there were, but must not be those kinds of beyond repair. Being human beings permit the vulnerability to commit mistakes, but should only be within the bounds of extreme consideration that they were not intentional, reflecting on the effect to those around us.

[As of this writing, I got to phone my eldest daughter, and I was hurtfully stung by the bad news that she brought me. She was suspected to have cheated in one of her exams, and that the school had invited my wife to appear the next day to discuss the matter, and as well to hear the side of our child. Be it true or not, and not that I am pompous to even reveal this low blow, but consequences to even apparently small things just seem to ricochet so quickly sometimes. She was crying so sheepishly as we talked, denying the act. But at her age, she has to better start dealing with the consequences of her actions. Not that I do not condone her if she did con, but the situation may also serve as a wake-up call at an earlier stage of her life. Ironically if she did, I am glad that she had this kind of mistakes now, because sooner or later, maybe she may indulge herself into worse situations, and then maybe it would be more irreparable. Now, she can experience the walk of shame, and perhaps, it would give her goose bumps in the future and choose not to go through the same condition all over again.]

Talk is cheap, and that’s a no-brainer. But when the only best friend left to us is our own words and actions, and then it would not be any better than to just let the good things find their ways into our inner selves.

If we commit to ourselves of what we want to achieve, having courage as our vehicle, and honor as our guiding light, there is just no other way to go but to the right direction. And the only factor left to measure success shall be our self gratification and satisfaction. That when in our hearts we can feel that sense of delight, it is only then that we can settle, and call it a day – with nothing but the drive to uphold the fruits of our undertakings, and become the superhero of our wisdom.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Filipino Old Schools

There is just a full string of Filipino cultures that in my humblest opinion, needs revisiting – if not awakening. I can typify these to why we have not moved forward for the longest time, and maybe, yes maybe, this is why we are stuck into where we are until now, leaving us drooling to the progression of other countries surrounding us.

This write-up may not necessarily be correct and accurate, but let me go on anyway. Whether I am wrong or not, it can still be educational both to those who subscribe or differ to my thoughts. And while for the non-believers, then at least they can see the deficiencies opposite my narrative, and may offer the real pictures accordingly on how things affect their lives.


It is always good to see those who have more sharing their blessings to those who have less. But as the saying goes, beggars can’t be choosers. They had their time on their hands. And whatever circumstances they were endowed, there is imminent manifestation that they did not maximize their efforts, and defied their wisdom for a better life. They practiced free will, and when they made up their minds, they did not involve anyone. But then, why is it that when people realize they made the wrong choice, they tend to look after the fruition of the go-getter? With that, I’m a bit lost.

But in reality, this can be attributed to close family ties. There is always the cling on assistance. The motivation to greater leaps is hindered because of the thought that someone shall always look after one’s shoulders. There is no push to gun to realize young dreams via intense enthusiasm. There is always the thought on solicitation of support – as if it is even mandatory. We see it everyday; in the neighborhood, in the papers, on TV - the failure of next of kins is often blamed on the success of the hard workers. Annoying, but true.


For those who go off shore – either for visit or to live, they deem wary even to the most basic rules of the host country. They would never let their guards down. They don’t want any snag. Of which is perfectly in contrast to the behavior that we encompass in our own turf. Ordinary people, learned, uneducated, elites, politicians, regardless of status, age and gender – it is all the same. We care more on how to go around the bend instead of just complying with what should be and go home to be happy with our families, and sleep trouble free.

While for other races that come to visit us, we expect things the same way it is expected from us to be doing that we do not. Double standard, maybe? Undeniably, that’s us.


Tons of superstitious beliefs that even with the kind of advance education and technology that we are endowed, we still tend to subscribe. We create our own ghosts, and get frightened of our own creation. We clip our minds, and cuff our own selves. Instead of moving forward which is expected to be the ideal thing to do, we prefer to either stay still, or worse, step backwards. For one; there is no such thing as sunrise and/or sunset because the sun never moved. As if anyone still doesn’t know, it is the earth that revolves around the sun. That must have been taught in elementary science already, and it seems that to this date, our teachers had always been wrong.

We should be like a memory-card that just continues to absorb and store new things. And for the old files, I bet we tend to delete them, or archive somewhere. We should respect reality at modern times. Betamax is long gone, or you may choose to ask your kids about it for a frown. We may still keep them for reference, but whether we like it or not, we can not put them in use at these times anymore.


Sleep with someone else and admit to your spouse later, and you will be forgiven for being true and honest. Sow kindness and/or be famous and steal big time later, and you shall easily be forgiven because what you did was only a misdemeanor. And the likes, etcetera, and etc… Anything you do becomes a juvenile, with worst consequence of a “please next time don’t you ever do that again”. Hands down, with the absolution already at hand even before a wrongdoing is obligated, it is always welcome to make mistakes. To others, it is even encouraged. That is why the doers would not much show remorse because they know what they shall be accorded anyway.

And we expect those who violate us to be accordingly dealt with? Please… The greatest trick the devil ever did was convincing the world that he didn't exist. We see and we know something not right is happening and we choose to close our eyes, or worst turn blind and outrightly forgive instead of chastise. That’s us, very soft-hearted as a tofu.


This is the worst trait that Filipinos tend to hug tightly on. It is not what you know, but whom you know. The friendship outstands between what is right and wrong. What is idyllic is shadowed by relationships. We elect to dwarf ourselves from the permissible. We side with emotions over morality. Though we show sympathy to the underdogs, it appears to be just a stunt for the show. In reality, we do not accord to the accurate definition of fairness. Our hearts would more often rule over our brains. We just can not discern when to loosen up the ties. We’d always favor to live according to individual benefits. And then we go to church every Sunday to say our thanks for the graces – and for spiritual fortification. I just don’t get it.

I can go on with my list, but these are just some of those that I hate much from the good traits that we Filipinos have. It is not as if I was never integral to these syndromes, but my wisdom dictates me with optimism that one day, we shall get over with from these obstacles for a better standard of life. Maybe it is something that we can dream for our kids and for the next generations – that life would offer them greater experiences as we grow old, and that when they have to back-read on the “renovation” of Filipino culture, they would see our smiles curved in every advantage that they pound on as compared to what we had in our own version of our medieval time.

Whatever, however, whenever – if ever, it may be everyone’s dream to be enjoying better things like other races do, without sacrificing our own Filipino values, morality, and principles. It may just be my prayer now, but I sure hear a lot humming…

Monday, November 16, 2009


Facebook? Check. Friendster? Check. MySpace? Check. Skype? Check. Yahoo Messenger? Check. MSN? Check. Gmail Chat? Check. Blogs? Check. Web-mails? Check. E-groups? Check. And all those other kinds, types and form of cyber interfaces… Check… check… check..!

What are these for? Why are people so hooked? What would be the imminent relevance of all these stuffs? Romance maybe? Frustration vents? Emotional outlets? But undeniably, it all boils down to communication, in and out. Conveyance. Keeping in touch. Getting updated. Spiritually close while deficient from proximity. Simply put it; being there while not.

There is always the option of going out to places, and/or moving around and find friends, but those portals are just in reality far most accessible to look for tons. There is even always the element of surprise!

A long lost friend or an untraceable overly missed fellow will just pop out from nowhere and before one would know, you have already been trading great memories, and updates, and plans, and such. Yes, on portals.

For distant folks, it is about economics. A day-long chat would even be way down cheaper that a minute voice call. There’s just no trade for such a bargain. Mathematics is absolute. It’s a no-brainer.

Disenchantment on anything can also be feigned in portals. You can contradict your personality and agree later. Be mean and rude and all what-nots, and be amazed that you find it funny. Kill people without the worry of seeing a judge or facing the jury. Shout out loud as you can with all those caps-lock and exclamation points! Everyone hears you, with no guarantee that they listen.

For singles, broken hearted and pretenders alike, it is but another option for romance. It is safe as there is no physical contact. Anonymity can also be a must for a start. With that, anyone can be anybody. Free from charge of inhibition ballistics and salvos. It’s a come-what-may to-whom-it-may-confuse thing. If it clicks, then it’s all good. Something beautiful may come by. But if not, then there is always the option of dealing with another specie through the same process again and again… and again. It’s a self-regulated thing. No holds barred.

In portals, abuse is just a word found in dictionary. There are no rules, only game plans. No one can “normalize” anyone. You can observe the prosperity of work arounds. Whether anything one do is good or bad, it all depends on the benefits savored.

But another story would be; how must it be maximized for good use. Did people “invent” these portals for ill motives? I don’t think so. The possibilities must have been thought though, but nevertheless, it was the grater advantage that had prevailed their intuition. Moving people even at still. Abundance of presence in every keyboard front. Smiles that we don’t usually get at work, even from parents. Appreciations on the effort, not necessarily on what we truly do. That should be fantastic. Ecstatically awesome too…

But how must these really be put in line with each portal architect’s objectives?

We must use these tools according to how our values and principles would dictate us, no more and no less. And not according to things we would not want to be doing when we are up front face to face to people. It may just be another option to communication, but if we have them, let it give us a good ride with nothing at the tip of our fingers but plain love.

So, care to chat? Do you have a web cam? Will you be sending me smileys each morning? What about an e-mail maybe?

Hmnn… got Facebook btw..?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Cliché of Leaping Over the Label Hump

Ever felt of the regard that is particular to what you were, rather than what you have become? When all that is talked about are how you were, rather than the present you? That being a swan is rather just a smokescreen of the ugly duckling that you were way down the past? That the hard work is never significant, as anyway - you are still looked upon as you were?

Why is it that more often than not, once poor always a poor? Why is it so hard to get over the stigma of a label which for-all-I-care may not even be essential whether it have ever existed at all? Is it more of a culture, or just the effin’ way of life?

Everyday, we happen to come across at certain situations, and all we can do is sigh. It’s like; “Damn, what more must I need to prove to somehow be recognized and belong.”

“Being born poor is never wrong, but to perish as one must be”. Those words were told a gazillion times already, and it is what motivates people in pursuing life in any form. Some work it out the hard way, and the others would choose shortcuts. In conclusion, the end shall always justify the means anyway. Some are judged how one struggled, while some are never judged at all. And this could be the bitter part of it.

There are just those who choose not to check on the fruits, but rather would prefer to shoot on the weathered trunks. It is frustrating that appreciation of the experience would not even come into play. It could be throbbing, but what people prefer to see is the old you. Maybe because they got familiar to it, and it is easier to deal with what they were cozier of, and that any new things you could offer would not be important at all, and no one would care.

Maybe a sting of insecurity from their end, but that you shall never know. They won’t even give you a shot it. At the back of their minds, they already passed way down the road of what you have just started to hit. So, no big deal. There’s really nothing new after all.

So that for the ‘deprived’ from the humblest beginnings, they would take life’s challenges squarely. During family gatherings, they are seen on the sides while the alpha dogs are belting their tunes with their wine glasses. It is not that they have wanted those corners, but that was the social treatment that they are accorded. But it is helpful though – because it boosts their adrenaline to vision what they would want to be.

So that they would be strongly driven with a rock-steady determination to leap over the hump. They would dream for a better future, and the only partaking required from their hearts is the resolve to deliver. And in their own standards, they would push their little frames to succeed. And they shall be. And themselves would be grateful.

But the sting of the social order is just so unfair. Going back into those family affairs, those who must have enjoyed seeing them on the sides decades ago still would crave to put them back there. There is no premium to what they have pulled off. They still see the holes in their clothes, or the mud on their faces. The blueprint was already framed in their mentality. What an attitude…

That when the self-proclaimed elites have their own events, the achievers would be invited – with a pronouncement that they shall be hated to their graves if they would not show up. Wow, they would be suddenly recognized! And so, in reciprocation to that exceptional treatment, of course they would go - only to find out that they don’t even have an assigned table, finding themselves being squeezed-in into non-relatives. And the second time they shall exchange pleasantries is when they have to leave (or sometimes, in response to their badly hurt sentiments, they would rather not budge, and just walk away and be gone).

And when it is the underprivileged guys’ turn to send an invitation, them cream of the crop shall out of the blue be as busy as hell. But make no mistake; as if to make you feel any better, comes the assurance that they will get back to their schedules, and try very hard to come down. As if there was nothing important in your life when you accede to their invitation. As if you are always free to their calling. Yes, it is so surprising how comfortable for them to turn down a warm incitement – but as if such was not expected at all though.

Yet them dark horses also have to uplift their developed principles into their improved personalities. They have to feel special too. They have to reward themselves. And when they just don’t seem to fit to the usual pack…

That is when they have to create their own circle, and re-align their league. They try to seek their own level. They become resolute that a fresh start is believed to be far better rather than to sneak into the old system that seem to be so imprudent. It is only then that they can establish who they are at present, how they want to be properly addressed and recognized and reap the labor of hardship. They bail from a union where they are never given a chance to feel somewhat exceptional, with the due respect that they must deserve. Because if life’s cycle is relatively linear, they should not be steadily downstairs. Not that they want to see their old script from other people, but only to give commence of what they have accomplished.

There are just things that go-getters can never get hold of, respect included. Not because it is not worked for, but just an irony to the philosophy that watching the paint dry does not necessitate a change in color. Some things are just bound to be irrepressible.

And in cases as such, you shall find yourself as another victim of unfortunate circumstances. And the only thing that can change perceptions is within.

Inarguably that it may not be the same in all situations, but that can be the surest thing to do to feel better. For what could be your ultimate goal in life – if not to be happy?

How to leap over the label hump? Bail out, and launch anew. Ctrl-Alt-Del.

But if it is thought that it should not be that way, then there is always the free will. As reality would dictate, in life there are no options. Only choices.

Friday, October 23, 2009


Sacrifice. Is it same as surrender? It could be in some instances. But why would most people claim it as heroic? What would push them in performing such a valiant mode, or could it be rather idiotic since there is no guaranteed exchange of prize? Who categorizes rewards? Is it even diplomatic to warrant “big risks for big rewards”?

If we put meaning in all we do, would that be entirely wrong? Who must authenticate the level of its significance? Or the question is, is it even essential?

What drives people to arrive at certain decisions? What happens if we do not have one at all, and just rely on fate? And is fate unambiguous at all? Who must have defined it?

When do we submit that what comes to us is actually our destiny? Ain’t there really no any work-around to turn things the other way? Of which product is the what-if?

Equilibrium. Gravity. Uniform distribution. Law of Physics. Is it always right to believe and subscribe? When would each be applicable, and to which condition only? Wouldn’t that be over selective? But who ever said that life is fair?

Is it always practical to consider the principle of the carrot and stick? What about karma, or conscience? Aren’t these two supposed to be the ultimate guiding factors for supreme dispositions?

It is a fact that being alone is not synchronous to being lonely. Agreeably, lonely is a sad word. There is not even another better word to put it other than that. Lonely, sad, desperate, suicide. That’s just chronologically heartbreaking, or could it get any worse?

Comparatively then… when people are alone, either they are sad, or just being themselves, or with themselves, or by themselves. Case closed.

[Well, it is moot that I prefer the latter. Maybe it is in solidarity where I am, but I can tell that I’m not lonely at all. Actually, I’m even inspired! What? Why would anyone even have to question that?]

But hey, isn’t it a fact that the idle mind usually generates the greatest of thoughts, innovations, inventions, or even new life? Or on the other hand, unending thread of questions which would rather complicate rationalities right upon the attempt to dissect and decipher for exact reasons.

Thus the tons of questions; which people do not usually engage to when they are into something more relevant or significant situation in response to human’s continued existence, but are inevitable for those who are mistreated of unfortunate circumstances.

If not to further complicate matters:

You reap what you sow. Do unto others what you want others do unto you. Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you. They may sound familiar and mean the same to some novice, but not to further scrutinizing individuals. Let’s put some mortal and statistical dynamics unto each, and check which one is realistic, and which one is virtual.

You reap what you sow. Okay, yes, maybe. But hope has no guarantees. Ever heard of false hopes?

Do unto others what you want others do unto you. If I religiously pay my dues, would I be compensated back my rights in due time? Ever heard of corruption?

Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you. Is not doing bad, the same as doing good? So if I do nothing, have I actually done outstanding?

Why does everything seem to be complicated rather than just to be simple? What makes anything to be harder than how they appear to be? Hovering questions, doubts, uncertainties, worries, fears, retributions, yada-yada-yada…

But watching the sun go down at the end of the day, there is one thing sure that is undeniable. It all boils down to choices made, wisdom, responsibility, and attitude.

Putting all in just one word; serenity it is…

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Tranquilly being positive, that is my ultimate prayer that each soul shall be. And compellingly without an iota of reservation, it shall only be the time when the illusive “world peace” (whatever that means, though it sounds good… I think) can walk the talk.

Difficulties usually arise every time premium is particular to the consequence, rather than the objective. When greater attention is provided on the collateral damage rather than the magnitude of the goal, adversities is born. The trade of life shall never be square or flat, no matter what. Like animosities, the curbs on each path shall just be there waiting for us to hit on, or bump to, and toss up some of our dearest stuffs along the process. We just can not keep them all. And there is just no turning back against the tick-tock…

Live life. Love. There’s just no better way.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Never Holding Back

As some people would not be aware of, a number of freedom websites (i.e.: Youtube, Facebook, Wordpress, Blogspot, etc…) are blocked here in China where I happen to be situated as an OFW - obviously in compliance to the policy of their government. Actually, and in all honesty, I don’t really have any problem with that, as I am not even privileged to question such a policy. Each country is governed by their own rules, which is expectedly to be different from the laws of where I came from. Just unluckily for me, it so happen that one of the things I am into is among those that is not in line to their thingy’s.

Modesty aside, I can only care less about the other blocked sites, for I am not much into those - except for this one. Well, common’… give me a break..! Blogging is the only sensible past time that I can ever imagine in my location, considering my situation – being literally isolated in so many ways; from my family, my native land, and even to the people here for the main reason that I can not speak their native tongue.

Of course I am not inclined to write everyday, but just with the thought that my blog site is now again accessible from where I am, of which probably had as well been waiting for updates of my ‘Pulitzer Prize bound’ manuscripts, then I can always be in good mood to use up my idle moments in a more significant way, again, like… right now.

Thus why I feel extremely happy today. A colleague has provided me of a free VPN that can unlock all the above-stated sites, and now I have the high of optimum adrenalin to do what I have always longed to do. Hopefully that the effectivity of my towering horse shall be infinite – or at least until this country would realize the true essence of full democratic sovereignty (whatever that means, because I really have to admit that I have no effin’ idea what would that ever mean at all, trust me), and shall just open the gates of all freedom websites.

But nevertheless, still I’m vastly ecstatic that I can do this again. Now I can express my inner self in three stages; when I’m feeling high, or low, or both – not necessarily in that particular order. Whichever stage I am at doesn’t really matter at all, because the common denominator is – I shall be composing one of these stuffs anyway.

So many good, and yes, not so good things happened to my surrounding for the past few months during my lull. Needless to mention of my itch to put words into any of those situations, I’ve always prayed that one day, one fine moment shall push me to write about those in another time. And so it did! Now, I’m just glad about this chance where I can carve again.

So, I think this is it! This is really is it..! I can roll and slide once again...!

Lock and load. Ready, aim, and dock!