Simple Rules... While Inching To Freedom

I have seen this long before on a broadsheet, and I guess it may lighten up my worries a bit. It is called the "Eight Simple Rules On Dating Teenage Daughters", and it goes like:

1. Use your hands in my daughter and you’ll lose them later
2. You make her cry, I make you cry
3. Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health
4. Bring her home late, there’s no next date
5. Only delivery men honk. Dates ring the doorbell. Once.
6. No complaining while waiting for her. If you’re bored, change my oil
7. If your pants hang off your hips, I’ll gladly secure them with my staple gun
8. Dates must be in public places. You want romance? Read a book.

Quite funny to read for the others, but I shall keep these as my guideline, I guess.

The truth to the matter is; our eldest daughter has just turned fourteen. And in a matter of time, it is inevitable that another better man shall take care of her. Not as much as I do, but maybe just as how I take care of her Mom. In as much when I took my wife away from the care of her parents, I surrender that it shall be the same case to our daughter. Damn..! We haven't even extensively enjoyed cuddling her! And I am more than jealous to think that another set of caring hands shall embrace her tiny frame soon. Well, that's just the defined cycle to all daughters, I must say so. But to be honest with myself, I wish I will be ready for that when the time comes. I've seen movies when parents would cry while giving their daughter away, much to the fathers. But in the end, no one can ever overturn destiny.

So that this early, I hope that our daughter can see the good things that we had instilled; that we would expect her to try to only look for the good traits as her minimum requirement for her guy. So that when she welcomes her guy into her life, she could still move as if she is home - because we shall alway wish the best for her. I know I was not a totally great father to her, but I'm sure I shall always be the perfect one. Likewise to her Mom. We are pretty sure that we made a good job in raising her for what she will be. But as her loving father, I have always wanted to write her a letter, and so here it goes:



My Dearest Janina,

I recognize the fact that you are fast growing now my dearly beloved. I can still imagine you as a young little girl riding on my back without the fear of falling, because you know how much Papa would keep you safe. But I can't carry you the same way now. You've suddenly become quite heavy for my aching frame.

Your child memories would still play on my thoughts when I have to send you to school and you would give me a pressing kiss on the lips as you walk away. But we can not do that now. It would look awkward much when your peers are waiting.

How lucky you are that me and Mama would always think of ways to make you happy as you always are. And when you smile back, you gratify us. That our love is all yours with fullest hopes that it shall lead you good. And that whatever you shall be, we will always be in oversight for the better you.

But how unlucky you are too that I have to leave you to look after your future. What a bargain against our quality time that I have to be miles away and out of sight. That I can not laugh with you on your happy moments, nor cry with you on the dull ones. It pains me to note that while you are at your prime to be molded of what you will become, I can not be of any help, except for my thoughts that are always wrapped with your being.

Yes my child, my precious one. You are so lucky for being unlucky... because you and what is best for you, are my only agenda. I love you my pretty girl, and you don't need to love me back. Everything that I do for you - is all but my wisdom.


Love,
Papa

Just Walking Away... For A While

It’s been about ten months since my last write-up. I have always wanted to, but there was no worthy subject. Emotions were still high. Lull was highly called for. Guess I now feel more emotionally stable. I have moved on. As well that a lot of turn-arounds have gotten in the way. Situations have changed so quickly.

I have quit my old job of twelve years to become an overseas worker. Why? Pretty same as my late father’s motivation when he made a decision. Not for a greener pasture though because my old job paid me well. The pay difference that I get from my present job is not that hefty. But it helps to expedite tabled accomplishments to some extent. Some frustrations were considerably a factor. I just love my family that much, that I have chosen to be away for a few cents.

I joined a company who is run by an old acquaintance. Firstly, I was easily lured by the friendship. Another, accorded perks as compared to other potential overseas employers were just irresistible. I can fly home every quarter and visit my family for ten days, all expense paid, inclusive of my vacation. Among others, I can only spend so much money while on the job. Food and shelter are luxuriously provided. And various forms of recreation on the side too, with a few beers included.

But what really made me decide is; the future of my kids. I am not trying to be a perfect father, but I submit to the fact that being a responsible and good provider is my most inspiration. I must have gotten it from my late father. He wasn’t a perfect one either, but was tailored fit to the family that he built.

Now, I am on my sixth month being away. Not literally because I have already went back home almost every month. That’s why I can almost treat my present job as another exercise to my functions from my old job. I was always on the run then, thus it’s almost the same.

I am now more inspired with my present job because I have gotten my dreadful ambition to lead a team. It wasn’t so challenging after all. My fifteen years of experience made it so easy for me. I just realized that I was almost overripe for the job already. It waited too long. But now that it is in my hand, I must not complain anymore. I had always subscribed to my belief on good karma. You do well, you end well.

I just hope it will get me better and better. For my kids. And for my family. Of course, my great wife included. It must be quite terrible for her to be looking after the kids alone. I can only commend her for putting up with me always.

But of course, I could never discount the prayers of my ever loving Mom. I can never thank her enough for raising me as what I am right now. I shall always attribute that to her, no matter what.

And so lastly, I must tell myself… “Good luck, kiddo..!” But why not? I guess I just need lots of that from now on.